Public Statement from Narcissists' Union

We, the narcissists, felt the need to make a statement due to the increasing number of posts on social media that attempt to decode our behavior and protect you from us. First of all, thank you for the misinformation about us.

We narcissists closely follow the schools that shape the current global psychological discourse, especially the International Federation of Psychology, the American Psychiatric Association, and the French Psychoanalytic Society.

The definition of narcissism is constantly being updated, and each new study is shared with the public so that narcissists can be more easily identified. We carefully analyze the emerging findings, take the necessary precautions, and update our strategies.

Debates about who is or isn’t a narcissist create new hierarchical structures in society based on academic knowledge. First, through the power of TV shows and media, you gave psychologists a highly privileged position in public life. And now, you’ve begun to criticize the seepage of clinical terminology into everyday life. So just when you were upgrading your tools against us, you also began to question your own methods. This chaos gives us time to determine our future course of action.

We’re curious who originally thought it was a good idea to list and categorize our traits on platforms accessible to everyone. Do you really think that, when we decide to destroy someone, we do it using previously tested and identifiable methods?

Let’s be clear. You cannot know we are narcissists before we’ve taken over your life. The signs of our narcissism are not in the present, but only in the past.

Sometimes one of us leaves irreversible damage in someone’s life. And then that person begins to see themselves as “successful” just because no other narcissist has managed to ruin their life again. The truth is, we work collaboratively. We do not repeat a mission that one of us has already completed.

The biggest supporter and rival of us narcissists is the myth of “self-love.” We've seen that those who fall for this trend can destroy themselves even without us. While we are satisfied with the destructive outcomes of self-directed love, we would still prefer to have more of a stake in the process.

During the periods when you fall under our charm, you’ll be swept up in a short-term thrill and confuse it with the joy of being alive. You’ll pay for this mistake with a lifelong distrust of others.

What you call life is simply the absence of the magnificent feelings we made you experience under a carefully scripted scenario—feelings we then withdrew, never to return.

Finally, we’d like to remind you of your options.

When you go to therapy to rid yourself of the burden of your memories with us, you'll get used to being listened to by someone even when you only talk about yourself. This process will make you a narcissist too—and you’ll join us.

When you rid your life of us narcissists, we will still remain within your field of vision—as the lover or friend of someone you care about.

And if you not only remove narcissists from your life but also cut off everyone who has ever been involved with one, then you will be left with no one.

Frankly, that’s what we want.